Watch & Read - For Leaders Who Dare To Be Human&Real
Last Sunday morning I watched a little video on FB. Having just had enjoyed an episode of one my favourite (actually a bit of a love/hate thing going on there) TV shows before (lots of human drama - don't we all know that one), this made me very thoughtful.
I went into the kitchen and prepared my breakfast. My son was still fast asleep – so I was on my own (well, with the dog).
And decided to leave my pad and my phone out of the kitchen. No radio or Alexa either. So, it was quiet. And when I started eating, I enjoyed the crispy edges of the rye bread which I had toasted before putting butter on it. It had melted into the bread and I could taste it now with every bite. I noticed the slightly sweet and coolish taste of the ripe tomato (from my October harvest) in my mouth. I saw the irregular pattern of red flakes of chili in the guacamole I had prepared earlier and the considerable difference in texture of all I ate. Creamy, fresh, crunchy. My brain wandered off…well,...
Have you ever faced the situation where a crisis hit you out of the blue? Silly question, right? As I literally don’t know anybody who did not, at some point in their lives.
This could be the loss of a job, your partner telling you that they want to leave, a diagnosis from your doctor which turns your world upside down.
That’s the kind of crises I’m talking about.
Often the first reaction is pain, panic, shame, fear…..or we’re utterly and completely paralysed, our brains literally not functioning anymore. Maybe accompanied by crying, shouting or acting out.
We might feel victimized on top of all those difficult emotions. Why does that happen to me? Why do I have to suffer through this?
Typical (yet rather destructive) questions to ask ourselves – let me come back to that in a minute.
Maybe we’re even looking for someone to blame for the situation.
When the first rage or pain settles...
A couple of weeks ago when I spoke to my daughter, she was pretty desperate and full of negative feelings, as she’s on the job hunt after having finished her master’s in science. She complained: “Mum, I can’t even get a job in a b***dy pet shop, they won’t take me because I am over qualified, and the jobs I really want, ask for lots of experience – I will never find anything! Why the heck did I spend 4 years studying at all?”
Do you know the feeling of having the first negative thought, followed by the next one until your head (and heart) is full of dark clouds? It’s pretty much a steep downward spiral if you don’t stop yourself quickly.
But how can you stop yourself if the world does seem a dark, unjust and just horrible place?
I told my daughter just to stop for a moment to take a deep breath and listen. I then took some time to tell her all those great things about her: How focused she was working through her studies, how...