Watch & Read - For Leaders Who Dare To Be Human&Real
Recently one of my new clients confessed to me (feeling rather shameful about it) that often he finds himself in important meetings when this particular colleague, a level above him who permanently wipes off his suggestions and arguments.
“Yeah, but….” is the standard reaction and on top of that, he keeps interrupting him rudely in front of the whole board or sometimes business partners.
Immediately his brain is running hot & is overloaded, thoughts bouncing back and forth. Despite being a brilliant person, these witty answers he would love to say right there and then don’t seem to come through.
“I’m always stuck in my head, analyse & overthink things, which makes my head almost explode then. I even catch myself holding my breath when I think & think & think. Some of the thoughts even haunt me at night afterwards! Leaving me mentally rather exhausted, and I have to hold back to not explode in someone’s...
Insight no 1:
Whatever someone does “to” me, has nothing to do with me and all to do with the other person.
“He never said thank you – he’s ignoring me….I’m not really important”. We’ve all been there. Someone treats us horrible, outside of our set of values or understanding. We start interpreting, put a label on the behaviour, judge, and unfortunately, the judgement often has to do with beating ourselves up on some level.
It must be me, right? Why would this person say that otherwise (or ignore me, or be rude, offensive or whatever)?
We all go through some struggle. So does the person we might have issues with. Most of our thoughts circle around ourselves (this is why we take things so personally!). So do the thoughts of the other person.
Their rudeness, offensiveness, negligence or dismissiveness has nothing to do with us and all with him or her. How he sees the world, what kind of challenges the person deals...
What energy do you bring into the room (or situation)?
Huh? Is that important?
YES - absolutely.
This Saturday I experienced quite a backlash while not being aware of my own energy.
With quite some consequences.
The (almost magical) power of that and how to do it, I'm explaining here in this short video.
And as always: the first step is AWARENESS. As we cannot change what we don't even know....and then we're only surprised by or suffer from the results.
Let me know your experiences with that in the comments.
Last Sunday morning I watched a little video on FB. Having just had enjoyed an episode of one my favourite (actually a bit of a love/hate thing going on there) TV shows before (lots of human drama - don't we all know that one), this made me very thoughtful.
I went into the kitchen and prepared my breakfast. My son was still fast asleep – so I was on my own (well, with the dog).
And decided to leave my pad and my phone out of the kitchen. No radio or Alexa either. So, it was quiet. And when I started eating, I enjoyed the crispy edges of the rye bread which I had toasted before putting butter on it. It had melted into the bread and I could taste it now with every bite. I noticed the slightly sweet and coolish taste of the ripe tomato (from my October harvest) in my mouth. I saw the irregular pattern of red flakes of chili in the guacamole I had prepared earlier and the considerable difference in texture of all I ate. Creamy, fresh, crunchy. My brain wandered off…well,...