The leadership blog for successful women

Today I had a session with a client I've seen for the second time.

We delved into her challenge of how she could get where she absolutely wants to be (which is a particular position in academia)  - an idea she had for years!

Now - we could have started working on some strategies or tactics of how to get there.

But that's not what I do.

Deep work does not have to be a huge effort

Working on the surface would totally ignore what's at the core of the challenge and simply mean that a similar situation - based upon the pattern at the basis - will pop up again eventually.

I experienced that SOOO often in my own life until I realized I had to tackle what WAS at the bottom.

So - we went deep.

Arghh…that sounds uncomfortable and like a lot of effort and time.

WRONG.

It just required a couple of the right questions, and  - totally not modest here - I'm really good at asking those due to my very well-developed intuition and wham - it always leads to the core quickly.

Within...

It's Sunday. Should be a rest day - at least for me. Smooth, quiet, enjoyable...BUT "there is always something"! 

A little story I just experienced that is representative of - as I believe - daily life And sometimes it sucks ...but it's also a bit funny ;-).

FIRST OF ALL - Happy International Women's Day to all the women in my life - to those who might still come there - and to all the women out there doing their best and never give up in a highly complex, complicated and sometimes extremely exhausting world! (scroll to the end for a GREAT offer for - status quo NOW (08.03./1 pm) 2 wonderful female leaders. 

So here goes the story: 

Yesterday I said NO to someone and declined to work with them.  

It does not happen very often - after all this is my business and my income!

So here's what happened

At the weekend I was contacted by a woman who was in a great hurry to talk to me - I've never ever met her before in my life - she found me on Linkedin.

I sensed that she was in a pickle and needed support so I took an hour and a half on my Sunday to chat with her. An intelligent, driven woman in the technology sector.

Her main concern was how she was being perceived by others - that she felt excluded by them, not...

Many women are too polite in business. 

In fact - often in other areas of their life too. 

And if you're happen to be a man and felt this little pang when you read the headline this might be something for you too...and I invite you to read on. 

Politeness is great - unless it becomes detrimental to managing your energy, taking your space or speaking up for yourself.

I'm not even British (if you are, you know what I'm talking about ;-)) and still was this woman.

How it shows up

And it showed up in a number of ways:

• I was hesitant to say NO when a colleague or client asked me for a favour - even worse when my bosses wanted something - even if it was 5 minutes before I had planned to leave!
• I grudgingly accepted when people interrupted me at meetings or ate into my time 
• Even in my current job, in the beginning, I allowed my clients to overstep the agreed time

The feeling I was left with was one of overwhelm when not saying no, and becoming rather resentful...

If you're one of the people who have been following me for a while you might have thought "Huh, I'd actually love to work with Claudia" but - what offer could be the right one for me? 

Well, I'll make the decision a bit easier for you while presenting you with the options - after reading you know exactly what is right for you.

Let's start. 

Level 1: LASER LEADERSHIP COACHING

If you ask me - that's a must-have for 2 types of leaders - the leader who never experienced coaching and the one who has and wants to make sure to gradually come from great to excellent. 

What do we do there? 

• You can have as many 15-minute coaching sessions as you like (you can book the next one as soon as you have implemented what we discussed before)
• You have 5 minutes to describe your issue/question - we'll find the solution/information/answer or exercise in 10 and you'll get precise instructions on what and how to implement it (your "homework")
• We either discuss "burning" topics...

In my last blog I wrote about the year-end-rush and the number one (rather counterintuitive ) tip of how to deal with it differently. What I wrote is still true - while talking to my clients though I realized that it supports even more to have a list of various hands-on ways or measures to pick from. Those that help in your individual situation. Which I guess is different from mine. And the one of the person next door. 

So - here we go - 21 ways. 

Let me know what works/worked best for you - just drop me a quick line at [email protected] - I always love to hear back from anyone reading my blog.

1. Breathe – the cheapest and most effective form to calm your nervous system.
2. Watch your self-talk – as your thoughts create your emotions. So be careful what you think.
3. Know your needle movers – what tasks bring you closer to where you want to be?
4. Prioritize – and start a WON’T do list.
5. Recalibrate regularly and make space in the...

Hard to believe...we're only 8 weeks away from the end of the year! Probably a super busy time for you:

• Projects to complete.
• Budgets to spend.
• Plans to be made for next year...let alone organizing Christmas and family visits. 

I know that most people will push learning/changing etc out to the beginning of the next year. And put their head down now and sprint through their extensive to-do lists, making sure everything's done, hardly ever looking up, arriving at Christmas exhausted, overdue for a break.

I used to do that A LOT.

It might look like there is no time for anything else - let alone CHANGE. 

I disagree. 

NOW is EXACTLY the time to hit the brakes, reflect and make some time to consciously decide who to be and what to do.

But HOW - you might say. The real world demands something else from me. That's an idealistic view and not possible. 

Again - that's what I thought for a long time. 

The truth: THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE.

Because most of...

A lot of people are talking about self-care at the moment. 

No wonder - the world has gone crazy in a lot of areas. Many things are getting more extreme - the middle ground seems to get smaller and smaller - and with prices rising and war around the corner many people worry a lot.

The antidote: self-care to not burn out and to make sure that you can be your best self. 

BUT - what IS self-care really?

A lot of advice goes in the direction of

• Doing something for yourself - like a bubble bath or a hike in the mountains
• Exercise to work through the stress
• Sleep
• Meditation
• Take more time off

All good ideas.

Today I'd like to suggest something else. 

Something that goes deeper and has the potential to eliminate sources of stress.

Setting boundaries - a perfect way of self-care. 

That, of course, requires you to KNOW what you are available for and what not, how I tend to phrase it - I found that easier to answer than "what my boundaries are" - the result is the...

Last week a rather frustrated and utterly exhausted client was getting  exasperated about their "super difficult" situation: "I have to do all these things NOW as there is only a certain time window and on top of that I have to prepare a presentation - which came around the corner very short notice."

I cautiously asked: "What could you say no to?".

"Nothing," was the answer - "If I don't do it - nobody will. I can't possibly let anyone down."

Phew - no wonder did my client feel overwhelmed and even helpless. In other words - stuck - unable to change the situation nor the feeling.

Sounds familiar? The I-have-so-much-to-do-and-can't-do-anything-about-it-scenario?

With the same feelings coming along?  

Well, it was definitely VERY familiar to me years ago running my own business as a single mum.

Now the million-dollar question is; HOW the heck can you get out of that?

Well, the short answer is: TAKING RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY for your life.

The...