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Do you take things too personally?
Did you ever have this poker face when somebody said or did something that you took absolutely personally? Pretending that it's not an issue and that you're cool, and that this did not affect you?
Yep - I did. Many times.
We all take (some) things personally.
- When someone interrupts us.
- Rolls their eyes at us.
- Laughs at a question or statement.
- When someone raises their voice or expresses anger.
- When our work gets criticized.
We all have our own list of things we tend to get offended by or feel attacked by. Despite the poker face.
BUT….
Let's face it: most things are NOT PERSONAL ATTACKS.
- People might be thoughtless before opening their mouths.
- People don't know OUR triggers when they say or do something (except our kids - they most definitely do) and it simply FEELS personal.
- People are so focused on themselves that they don't consider the potential impact of their actions or words.
WHAT to do and what NOT to do
First of...
Why It's O.K. to Let Go - And The Big Question To Ask Ourselves In The Process
Last week I practised letting go. BIG TIME. And it took me a LONG time to get to it. But before I tell you about that let me take a step back and start the story a tad earlier.
Being loyal - or letting go?
If I learned one thing during my childhood, it was loyalty. And as a woman to be the one who lives it, triggers it, makes sure it happens.
* Regardless of how bad the situation.
* Regardless of how much people crossed boundaries.
* Regardless of how tough a situation might be.
* Regardless of how useless things were.
Don't get me wrong: Loyalty is a great trait.
It helps in relationships - not dropping the person at the first sign of difficulty or non-alignment.
It helps in the career to fighting through issues and uncomfortable situations. And can result in more confidence in self and a more conscious career path.
It's environmentally friendly as it means holding on to things longer and not fall into the mindless consumption trap.
But like...
FREE Meeting Planner
Are you wasting time in useless meetings or running from one meeting to the next? And you*re frustrated about the lack of follow-up? Here's how this ends NOW. The meeting planner for professionals.
FREE Energy Tips (11-Day Challenge)
If you have a lack of energy, this is for you - regardless if your energy drain comes from the physical, emotional or mental side. Find 11 unusual tips of how to boost your energy.
FREE training: Boost your Productivity
Are you working on too many things at the same time and find it hard to get them over the finish line? Are you sometimes losing the overview because it's simply too much? Then this video training will help you immediately.
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Claudia Hesse
Author
Hi, I'm Claudia and the founder of The Better Workplace and creator of the Personal Leadership eXperience 5.0 program. Having spent 30 years in leading positions in the IT business, and running my own company provided me with tons of knowledge, insight and learnings which I'm sharing with you on a weekly basis. Oh - and did I mention that I raised two kids on my own? That was probably when I learned most about humans - how we work, and where we screw up. What works, what doesn't work. What makes us happy, how to get those relationships working and how to get more energy. Still lots to learn and to find out - and you can be the first to learn what I learn - just subscribe to my weekly newsletter and you're in. Lots of love, Claudia
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