Claudia's Blog

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Why 9 out of 10 conversations simply miss the mark (and what to do about that)

I’m living with my partner. And raised two children. I worked in a number of corporates and have started two businesses. So, I had my fair share (and still going on) of conversations. And quite a lot of them were also difficult.

A gigantic playing field for learning how to have successful conversations. Or to mess them up and miss the mark. I succeeded in both.

Missing the mark

According to research done by Stanford University, 9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark.

What do I mean by missing the mark?

Well, that’s fairly simple: when there is no result. Or not the desired one.

When we fall into set patterns instead of using our conversational skills to create trust and healthy connections. When we talk past each other instead of with other, maybe even banging our heads or letting fear and judgement taking over.

Every conversation has some objective: maybe just a simple sharing of information, maybe tasking someone with something, maybe to find solutions for issues,...

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How to get (and stay) motivated?

 

Do you have any of those people around you who always seem to be in a great mood, who seem driven and motivated at (almost) any time of the day and who seem to effortlessly achieve whatever they want to achieve?

I do – and I was wondering where they took all this motivation from. And even more importantly how they sustained it and never (at least not openly) seem to run out of steam. A feeling I can definitely relate to.

First step: Easy-peasy

I am sure you did the first step hundreds of times. So did I. Having an idea, a wish that sounded rather exciting. New Year resolutions spring to mind: I want to lose weight, I want to change my nutrition to a healthy one finally – oh, and I definitely go running every other day.

Just out of curiosity? How long did it last for you? Two weeks? Three? Or even a month? Then you’re really good.

So you see what I mean: finding this objective that we want to achieve is rather easy (I bet your list is as long as mine). But...

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