Claudia's Blog

Last Friday, I had a coaching call with a client, and the reason for, and as such the solution for her issue, turned out to be very different than expected. 

The problem

So here we go….that was her problem: 

What's the next step in my career? 
How do I find what's right for me?

STEP 1

 I asked her: What have you done so far to solve the issue?

Her answer was that tt was mainly activities on a superficial level: She checked out industries/jobs and looked into options in consultancy. All good. 
 
Then she suddenly said: "Somehow, I feel that I procrastinate".

Interesting development. And of course, I was interested in the WHY because I knew that would give her additional insights.

STEP 2
 

Digging deeper - the underlying fears came out:
 
* Fear that there is nothing out there for her - resulting in being a failure 
* Fear not finding the right thing -and being left behind by her "successful" social circle
* Fear of the next step not being...

Did you ever have this poker face when somebody said or did something that you took absolutely personally? Pretending that it's not an issue and that you're cool, and that this did not affect you?

Yep - I did. Many times. 

We all take (some) things personally. 

• When someone interrupts us.
• Rolls their eyes at us. 
• Laughs at a question or statement.
• When someone raises their voice or expresses anger. 
• When our work gets criticized. 

We all have our own list of things we tend to get offended by or feel attacked by. Despite the poker face. 

BUT….

Let's face it: most things are NOT PERSONAL ATTACKS. 

• People might be thoughtless before opening their mouths.
• People don't know OUR triggers when they say or do something (except our kids - they most definitely do) and it simply FEELS personal.
• People are so focused on themselves that they don't consider the potential impact of their actions or words. 

WHAT to do and what NOT to do

First of...

FIRST OF ALL - Happy International Women's Day to all the women in my life - to those who might still come there - and to all the women out there doing their best and never give up in a highly complex, complicated and sometimes extremely exhausting world! (scroll to the end for a GREAT offer for - status quo NOW (08.03./1 pm) 2 wonderful female leaders. 

So here goes the story: 

Yesterday I said NO to someone and declined to work with them.  

It does not happen very often - after all this is my business and my income!

So here's what happened

At the weekend I was contacted by a woman who was in a great hurry to talk to me - I've never ever met her before in my life - she found me on Linkedin.

I sensed that she was in a pickle and needed support so I took an hour and a half on my Sunday to chat with her. An intelligent, driven woman in the technology sector.

Her main concern was how she was being perceived by others - that she felt excluded by them, not...

Many women are too polite in business. 

In fact - often in other areas of their life too. 

And if you're happen to be a man and felt this little pang when you read the headline this might be something for you too...and I invite you to read on. 

Politeness is great - unless it becomes detrimental to managing your energy, taking your space or speaking up for yourself.

I'm not even British (if you are, you know what I'm talking about ;-)) and still was this woman.

How it shows up

And it showed up in a number of ways:

• I was hesitant to say NO when a colleague or client asked me for a favour - even worse when my bosses wanted something - even if it was 5 minutes before I had planned to leave!
• I grudgingly accepted when people interrupted me at meetings or ate into my time 
• Even in my current job, in the beginning, I allowed my clients to overstep the agreed time

The feeling I was left with was one of overwhelm when not saying no, and becoming rather resentful...

New Year - new opportunities. 

To start something new.

To let something old go. 

To take different decisions.

To change whatever we choose to change.

To have more joy and lightness in our life.

At the beginning of the year, many people make a lot of plans about what to achieve next year, where to go, what to earn, what kind of job to have or get, how much more they will hit the gym - you name it.

Might sound familiar?!

I've given up on those plans a while ago. They tend to be a kind of hit-and-miss thing. And no - just alone my action won't always get me what I desire to have or do (or be). 

Well, maybe hitting the gym more. But even that can be overthrown by something unexpected. Like an illness or something happening in the family. 

Life's rather unpredictable. 

Hence I've changed my approach. 

I still look back. And forward.

But not to measure my successes or non-successes (I know them anyway) or to create big plans but to ask myself a couple...

If you're one of the people who have been following me for a while you might have thought "Huh, I'd actually love to work with Claudia" but - what offer could be the right one for me? 

Well, I'll make the decision a bit easier for you while presenting you with the options - after reading you know exactly what is right for you.

Let's start. 

Level 1: LASER LEADERSHIP COACHING

If you ask me - that's a must-have for 2 types of leaders - the leader who never experienced coaching and the one who has and wants to make sure to gradually come from great to excellent. 

What do we do there? 

• You can have as many 15-minute coaching sessions as you like (you can book the next one as soon as you have implemented what we discussed before)
• You have 5 minutes to describe your issue/question - we'll find the solution/information/answer or exercise in 10 and you'll get precise instructions on what and how to implement it (your "homework")
• We either discuss "burning" topics...

In my last blog I wrote about the year-end-rush and the number one (rather counterintuitive ) tip of how to deal with it differently. What I wrote is still true - while talking to my clients though I realized that it supports even more to have a list of various hands-on ways or measures to pick from. Those that help in your individual situation. Which I guess is different from mine. And the one of the person next door. 

So - here we go - 21 ways. 

Let me know what works/worked best for you - just drop me a quick line at [email protected] - I always love to hear back from anyone reading my blog.

1. Breathe – the cheapest and most effective form to calm your nervous system.
2. Watch your self-talk – as your thoughts create your emotions. So be careful what you think.
3. Know your needle movers – what tasks bring you closer to where you want to be?
4. Prioritize – and start a WON’T do list.
5. Recalibrate regularly and make space in the...

Hard to believe...we're only 8 weeks away from the end of the year! Probably a super busy time for you:

• Projects to complete.
• Budgets to spend.
• Plans to be made for next year...let alone organizing Christmas and family visits. 

I know that most people will push learning/changing etc out to the beginning of the next year. And put their head down now and sprint through their extensive to-do lists, making sure everything's done, hardly ever looking up, arriving at Christmas exhausted, overdue for a break.

I used to do that A LOT.

It might look like there is no time for anything else - let alone CHANGE. 

I disagree. 

NOW is EXACTLY the time to hit the brakes, reflect and make some time to consciously decide who to be and what to do.

But HOW - you might say. The real world demands something else from me. That's an idealistic view and not possible. 

Again - that's what I thought for a long time. 

The truth: THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE.

Because most of...

End of July, my furry companion of 13.5 years got sick and got so poorly that I had to let her go after 4 days. Having been with me almost 24/7 during all her life, she left a huge hole. 

Ten days later, I got a call from my mum informing me that my dad had passed. He still went out shopping in the morning, had lunch and did not wake up from his nap anymore. Despite having been in his 80's there were no signs of his death being imminent.

A few days later, I felt extremely exhausted and unwell and was down for days running a heavy fever and some other cold symptoms. I had (finally) caught Covid.

That all sounds like the start to a really bad movie, right?

And still, this is exactly what happened in my life during the last four weeks.

A real "test" of all the concepts and ideas I talk about, stand for and teach others. 

 The power of response & focus.

I had first reactions to both of my losses, of course. I was asking myself what I could have done better - did I...