Tell me something my friend – are you happy in this world – or do you need more, is there something you’re searching for? Something you're longing to change?
This is (almost) the line from a song I fell in love with while listening to it the other day (Shallow from the movie "A Star is Born").
And it resonated with me and triggered a number of thoughts.
There might just be this little feeling creeping up from time to time that despite things are (kind of) good and still, something’s not quite right. There might be this deep seated longing to change something and we might not allow it to come up or we simply ignore it as it could make our life really difficult.
It’s so tempting to just go through the motions and to not look closely if there has been a void developing - in our job, in our relationship, in our life.
And also tempting to rather avoid it and fill it with lots of work, entertainment, excessive gaming, sport, sex - you name it -, busyness or worse addictions like alcohol or other drugs.
Our world and our circumstances have the tendency to change throughout our life-time. For some really fast, for others a bit slower, to the point where we might not even recognize how many things have changed.
And only if we take time for ourselves – which hardly ever happens for a lot of us in this crazy fast and super busy world – we might really feel this feeling.
And even if we do - it takes quite a lot to really change. Ourselves or something in our life. Unless the pain isn’t constant or throws us into a major crisis, we have a tendency to just get on with things and potentially ignore the nudges.
Those crises can be anything that has the potential to be life or career changing.
We got fired.
Our relationship - or we ourselves - are on the brink of falling apart.
Someone important to us dies.
Too drastic? Nope. As for many of those it requires those wake-up calls to act.
Wow – she’s a bit doom and gloom today…you might think.
Nope – not really.
Just thoughtful. As I’m in a situation where some things in my life will change too. In the beginning it is painful to look at those feelings. And also for me the desire to avoid those unwanted feelings is huge.
Numbing or avoiding though is not an option for me anymore.
So, this is rather to encourage you to dare looking closely at your life and a call for listening to what you’re really longing for, somewhere deep inside, those things your heart already knows and the mind is a bit behind in acknowledging it.
Things which might have been bubbling to the surface more than once. The changes we know are necessary.
Even if it is scary. As we never really know what’s coming afterwards.
Addressing our pain and following our inner voice will ultimately push us forward.
So, this is what I do when change and growth is inevitable (or desired) and maybe it helps you too.
I know – all of the above takes a massive amount of courage. One of my words for the year in 2019.
And may you find the courage when you feel the niggle that it’s time for a change. Life’s too short to waste our time.
You’ll know when you’re ready.
When the longing is there and when your soul starts holding up the billboards with a clear message you might have ignored for quite some time when it was just coming as smaller signs.
And when you are, look for help. As nobody has to do that completely on their own. Your family, trusted people around you. Or someone from outside. Who can help you in the moments when you need the courage most and it’s hard to muster it up. Or when you’re in danger of falling on your path.
So, tell me something my friend – are you happy in this world – or do you need more, is there something you’re searching for?